how a solo road trip can heal loss and confusion
- lisasaperbloom
- 6 days ago
- 5 min read
Written by Lisa Saper-Bloom, Founder 1 2 3 Go Solo! LLC
Photos by Lisa Saper-Bloom
This week, not only am I celebrating 29 years of marriage and 40 years of friendship with my husband….I am also saying goodbye to a woman who has been a part of my life for 40 years. We recently lost my ninety-five-year-old mother-in-law, who is now reunited with her late husband of 68 years. She has become our newest angel.
Avis was the true definition of a matriarch. She was the loving and supportive mother of 5, a grandmother of 9, and had 18 great grandchildren. She had the ability to show each one of us individual interest in who we are, love for what we bring to the family, and supported each of us with undying unconditional love. She showed me what it means to be accepted and to be family no matter who you choose to be in life.
In the 40 years I have known my husband, he has brought forth her love without even knowing it. He has shown me what it means to communicate in times I shut down and don’t want to. He has shown me how love can be unconditional instead of transactional. He has shown me a life full of support in everything I do, even when he may not agree wholeheartedly.
When suffering the hardships of loss, emotions are heightened. Inventory of the heart and life are taken. It seems as though everywhere there is a crack or deficit within you, surfaces. And sometimes, the energy of it all, confronts you head on without any warning sign!
I am referring to this as the trickle down effect of grief and sadness. Unfortunately, it is what happened between my husband and I 5 short days after my mother-in-law passed.
I had already been thinking about a small road trip up to northern Arizona, in the Flagstaff and Sedona areas. The thought aligned perfectly with some PTO I had to take from my full-time work. Fall foliage was what I was seeking. What I did not realize was that it was going to be PERFECT timing in healing not only the loss of my mother-in-law, but also an extraordinary fight Steve and I had the night before I left.
Everything surfaced between us. All of the moments we never acknowledged, small and large.
My first destination was Aspen Trail Loop in Flagstaff, at the top of Snowbowl.
This destination is 2 hours and 45 minutes away from home. With a heavy heart, I left on 3 hours of sleep, knowing my husband did not sleep a wink. I got in “Zippy”, made a quick stop for water and snacks, and called my best friend of 40 years.
The day was so symbolic. It was dark grey and full of clouds. It was raining through the twisting mountain roads. Lightning struck close more than once, but there were also a couple of rainbows in the distance, showing me my new angel was right there with me. My best friend cut out in the mountains, the spray of semi-trucks reduced visibility, and there I was…still determined to get to my destination, exhausted and brokenhearted.
Was I nervous? No, I was too sad to feel nervous.
Was I excited? No, I was too sad to feel excited.
I was simply on a mission for the healing of the mountains and the magic of Fall colors!
Thinking of my husband, he sent me a text upon arriving to make sure I got there safely. While hiking in a light rain, the Aspen Trail Loop brought new breath to my lungs, shined light on my soul, and brought joy to the corners of my mouth allowing them to stretch towards my ears. The sun made a short appearance and it felt as though the heavens shone on the yellow of the leaves. They become luminescent.
Once I completed the loop, I got back into Zippy, and headed to Whole Foods for some nourishment and comfort food. I planned to stay in my cozy hotel room at Little America for the evening and packed a few extra items to get me through dinner and early morning. It’s almost as if I knew it was going to be a LONG, DEEP, HEALING evening full of crying on a cathartic level.
Traveling solo allows for this type of space. There is no one there to make you feel embarrassed or ashamed. You don’t have to cover up the “ugly cry" with strength. It’s just between you and the anonymous walls of the hotel room.
With total exhaustion along with mountain-fresh air, I fell asleep before the sun went down, but woke up and stayed awake at 1am. I found myself reaching for the tissue over and over.
Once the sun came up, I fueled myself up and headed for the scenic beauty and delight of 89A. (If you ever make the trip to Flagstaff/Sedona or Sedona/Flagstaff, this route is NOT to be missed! Those who have taken it KNOW what I am talking about!)
I am currently 54 years old and have a long-standing history of hiking in Sedona. In fact my husband and I were married there. Which was also perfectly aligned for what I needed.
Not only is Sedona world renowned for its healing energy, the fact that I have the most fond memories of getting married there enhanced these natural vibes for me. There were memories followed by tears. Followed by more memories and more tears. (I probably should have prefaced this blog with a statement that I am not normally a cryer.) Everywhere I looked brought more and more out of me.
West Fork Trail on Oak Creek is one of the most popular trails in Sedona and one of my two FAVORITE hikes there!
I left Sedona feeling lighter. I knew my husband and I had a lot to sort through. Not only was I hopeful, I KNEW what I wanted. I could FEEL what we both wanted. And although walking in the door was not easy (nor were the two hours after it.), we came to a place of undying love. We came to the place we both genuinely WANT to be. And we are grateful for Avis teaching us what love truly looks like. Healing is a process. The solo road and magic of the mountains are always there to help move us through it. And so am I. Yes, I am a Solo Travel Coach. Both Coaching and Traveling run so deep. And together, they change, transform and heal lives.
Need help healing?
Need help moving through the fears of solo travel?
I am here to help!
Comments